Rubric Criteria

1.

I have been working more on my academic tone and making sure that it sounds professional. Also the structure of each individual paragraph could be more organized.

2.

source: fisherprice.com

I noticed I need to go through and make sure that all of my paragraphs and statements are actually necessary to my argument.

3.

I need to work on having a stronger thesis and conclusion. I know that they are there but they aren't as prominent as they should be.

-Kristen Skuba

Rubric Criteria

Things I need to improve on:

1. I need to narrow down my thesis and topic development. I talk about a wide variety of topics, so I will narrow it down to around three specific parts of organic food.
2. I need to add a counterargument. I originally thought my counter argument would be that organic food is expensive, however I am thinking about adding another counter argument.
3. My organization is not great. I need to add better transitions, as well as reorganize my thesis and topic development points.

Improvements

Four ways that I improved my draft:

1.In one of my quotations Euginea found that one of the words did not make sense, so I went back to the website and found that I accidentally wrote pronounces instead of pronounced and made that change.

2.In my second paragraph I found that one of my sentences was unclear so I added specificity. I change the sentence “When these children start to apply for jobs, they are going to need these skills in order to be successful” to “When these children start to apply for jobs, they are going to both of these skills in order to be successful”. At first it sounded as though you needed only one of these skills when in fact I was trying to say that it is imperative to have a balance of both.

3.There is an are in my paragraph about how homework can be counterproductive where I explain how spot checking can be bad for a child’s education. I had someone that reviewed my paper say that I should delete it, but I felt that it was needed to get my point across. I may end up deleting it before the final draft is complete.

4.I made small grammatical changes.

Three ways that Lucas improved his draft from my suggestions:

1.He used more in text citations but still did not include in text cites for all of the sources that he listed.

2.He shortened the distance between the title and the first paragraph. This is something that makes the essay look more professional, which could attend to his credibility.

3.He reorganized the paper so that there was more of a logical sequence. For example, he talked about Mexico in the beginning of his essay then again later on, so in order to create flow he moved the two paragraphs one after the other.

4.He did not change his works cited page, something that he still needs to improve upon.

 Photo from: http://nicktumminello.com/2013/01/9-ways-to-improve-your-personal-training-programs/

Three ways to improve

                  http://www.igodmind.com/thinking-about-self-improvement-try-these-ideas/





Three ways I improved my paper

1. The first way that I improved my paper was to reorganize my paper so that the flow of the paper was smoother and more succinct.
2. Secondly I used more in text citing so that the information I was using could easily be found in my work cited page, as well as support my work.
3. Thirdly I shortened the distance between the title and the first paragraph to make my paper look more professional.

Three ways I improved my partners paper

1. I suggested that she use a direct statement so that she was either in support of or against the topic of her paper.
2. I suggested that she include an argument as well as Ethos, Pathos and Logos.
3. I suggested that she reorganize some parts of her paper so that it would flow better.
   

3 Ways of Improvement

Improvements of Mine:

source: ddubcustomsportswear.com

1. I made basic grammar/spelling edits.

2. I added a works cited page.

3. I changed the wording the make it more clear.

Improvements of Summers:

1. She added more information on growth hormones. 

2. She added more clear distinction between "all-natural" and organic.

3. She fixed basic grammar and spelling mistakes.

-Kristen Skuba

Three ways we improved our drafts

Things I changed:
1. I added lots of information on the growth hormones, pesticides, and food additives.
2. I added information on "All-Natural" vs organic food.
3. I fixed some grammar and spelling problems. I also rearranged some of my sentences so they made more sense.
**Note that I originally wrote a long conclusion, however my computer must of deleted it. I am in the process of re-writing my conclusion**

What Kristen Changed:
1. She added a works cited
2. She edited some grammar and spelling issues.
3. She changed some sentences so that her paper/ wording mad more sense.

image from google images

Chapter 17

                         http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/p/keep-calm-and-don-t-plagiarize-2/




Personal reaction:

I feel that this chapter is very valuable and informative it shows how to avoid plagiarism. It also helps with the integration process showing you how to integrate other sources in to your own work with out plagiarizing.
 
Professional reaction:

Chapter seventeen is a must read for any student hoping to be successful in a college writing environment. The chapter is well organized and clearly explains  and demonstrates through examples how to integrate different sources in to a paper.