Rubric

1. I need to work on integrating my argument in to the body of my paper better so that there is a continuous flow to the paper and it is not hard to fallow.
2. I feel like my thesis statement and conclusion are well illustrated but they could use more clearly defined support.
3. I believe that my paper is well organized and well worded and after the above corrections are made I would give myself an A/B.

https://hbuhsd.instructure.com/courses/5131/pages/rubrics

Rubric Criteria

Organization: I would say that I am on the cusp of an A maybe in the B area. My paragraphs are organized, with suitable topic sentences and effective transitions, but the length of my paragraphs are way to long. I have struggled to break up paragraphs in a logical fashion my whole academic career with a fear that I would break up my paragraphs in a way that is detrimental to my overall paper. After talking with Prof. Jenn, I think that I am more comfortable and confident in splitting up my paragraphs and going to do so that way I can be in the solid A range.

Use of a counterargument: I provide a counterargument that is clear with equal representation. I refute this counterargument in a way that strengthens my overall point. I would give myself an A in this category.

Integrating sources: I did not just plop a quote into the middle of a paragraph, rather I made sure that I lead into each quote to create a flow to my paper. I think that this was effectively done and I would give myself an A in this category.

Reasoning/Logic of argument: I believe that my argument is very logically sound which allows for it to be easily accepted. I think my ample support makes that reader more likely to agree with what I am saying. I would give myself and A/B in this category.

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Rubric Criteria

1.

I have been working more on my academic tone and making sure that it sounds professional. Also the structure of each individual paragraph could be more organized.

2.

source: fisherprice.com

I noticed I need to go through and make sure that all of my paragraphs and statements are actually necessary to my argument.

3.

I need to work on having a stronger thesis and conclusion. I know that they are there but they aren't as prominent as they should be.

-Kristen Skuba

Rubric Criteria

Things I need to improve on:

1. I need to narrow down my thesis and topic development. I talk about a wide variety of topics, so I will narrow it down to around three specific parts of organic food.
2. I need to add a counterargument. I originally thought my counter argument would be that organic food is expensive, however I am thinking about adding another counter argument.
3. My organization is not great. I need to add better transitions, as well as reorganize my thesis and topic development points.

Improvements

Four ways that I improved my draft:

1.In one of my quotations Euginea found that one of the words did not make sense, so I went back to the website and found that I accidentally wrote pronounces instead of pronounced and made that change.

2.In my second paragraph I found that one of my sentences was unclear so I added specificity. I change the sentence “When these children start to apply for jobs, they are going to need these skills in order to be successful” to “When these children start to apply for jobs, they are going to both of these skills in order to be successful”. At first it sounded as though you needed only one of these skills when in fact I was trying to say that it is imperative to have a balance of both.

3.There is an are in my paragraph about how homework can be counterproductive where I explain how spot checking can be bad for a child’s education. I had someone that reviewed my paper say that I should delete it, but I felt that it was needed to get my point across. I may end up deleting it before the final draft is complete.

4.I made small grammatical changes.

Three ways that Lucas improved his draft from my suggestions:

1.He used more in text citations but still did not include in text cites for all of the sources that he listed.

2.He shortened the distance between the title and the first paragraph. This is something that makes the essay look more professional, which could attend to his credibility.

3.He reorganized the paper so that there was more of a logical sequence. For example, he talked about Mexico in the beginning of his essay then again later on, so in order to create flow he moved the two paragraphs one after the other.

4.He did not change his works cited page, something that he still needs to improve upon.

 Photo from: http://nicktumminello.com/2013/01/9-ways-to-improve-your-personal-training-programs/